On Unfortunate Anniversaries

Three years ago today, I found myself reeling from some very unfortunate news.  I was scheduled to go on a fabulous four day vacation with my wife and son to the big apple, where I was planning on eating to excess, spending ridiculous time at museums, and generally creating lasting memories.  

Instead of spending the night here:



I got to spend the night here:



Both locations have high levels of service,  and you'd likely be equally shocked by the bill, but I think that most people would prefer the former over the latter.

I don't know if I'm ever going to forget the panic that gripped me as I was waiting to board my plane to NYC when my physician confirmed my worst fear.  "Joe, Your cancer looks to be back"

Fast forward three years, (spoiler alert, I did end up beating that cancer thing).  I now find myself celebrating a somewhat unfortunate anniversary.

Almost three years ago to the hour, I found myself a reluctant inhabitant of LDS Hospital's East 8.  Three years ago, my life changed, drastically, dramatically, and in ways that continue to affect me today.

Every year, I find myself in a similar situation, the holidays will forever be bound to that time in my life where I stopped being regular Joe, and became Cancer Patient Joe.  What does one do when faced with an unfortunate anniversary?  What does one think of when little holiday traditions remind one of memories preferably forgotten?

I don't know if I know the right answer to those questions, but I can say how I do tend to respond, because like it or not, it appears that I'll be celebrating an unfortunate anniversary for hopefully many years to come.

I tend to deal with this unfortunate anniversary with trying to downplay memories of the fear, the pain, the uncertainty, and by trying to emphasize the memories of the amazing caregivers, the friends and family who gave such incredible support, the positive lessons I learned.

I hug my kids a little tighter, tell my wife I love her, and I find myself trying to be a little more grateful for every single day.

It might not be a cake, or flowers, but at the end of the day, it's not a horrible way to commemorate an anniversary.